


A Widow's Bite and a Taser's Sting

by Moonrose91



Series: Multi Day Challenge Series - The MCU Version [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 20 day OTP Kiss Challenge, F/F, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, warnings in chapter summaries
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-27
Updated: 2014-08-06
Packaged: 2018-02-06 10:38:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 8,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1854991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonrose91/pseuds/Moonrose91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Natasha/Darcy kisses. Some take place in alternate universes, others in a canon...ish verse.</p><p>But all are Natasha/Darcy kissing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Romantic Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> 20 Day OTP Kiss Challenge
> 
> http://iriarty.tumblr.com/post/43578137224/20-day-otp-kiss-challenge

Darcy glanced up from the readings she was translating into People Speak for Jane when her office door opened and perked up when she saw Natasha saunter in. Her hair was pixie cut short, suggesting time hiding as a boy, and Darcy saved her translation  before she stood up, leaning over the desk in a way that had her girls straining against the fabric of her square necked dress. "Agent Romanov, is there  _anything_ I can do for you?" she purred and Natasha smiled, all warm edges and golden honey.

"Oh, Miss Lewis, what can I do  _for you_?" Natasha answered brightly as she crossed to Darcy's desk, folder being dropped carelessly close to the edge.

Darcy hummed happily and braced her good arm, her right shoulder had been dislocated this morning in self-defense class (Clint still hadn’t come out of the rafters). She leaned up and pressed a kiss to Natasha’s widowed smile. She started to pull back, only for Natasha’s hands to snap out and curl her fingers into Darcy’s hair pulling her back into a deeper kiss. Darcy reached up, rubbing her fingers through the shorter hair, whining a little in both pain (because _ow_ her shoulder still hurt) and distress at not being able to urge Natasha to crawl over her desk to continue this kiss in Darcy’s _very sturdy_ office chair, especially with Natasha pulling back.

Darcy let out a low whine as they paused for breath, Natasha pressing her forehead against Darcy’s. “I missed you,” Natasha murmured softly, the closest the assassin would ever, could ever, get to _I love you_ and Darcy pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of Natasha’s mouth.

“Love you too,” Darcy answered softly and Natasha made a low sound before she pressed a kiss to Darcy’s lips and pulled away, Darcy’s hair falling in mussed waves.

“Dinner, six, Thai?” Natasha asked as Darcy flopped back into her seat.

“Perfect! I should be finished with my translations by then,” Darcy answered and Natasha nodded sharply, grabbed her folder, and walked into Phil’s office.

Darcy watched her go before she focused on translation Jane Speak to People Speak, humming _My Boyfriend’s Back_ as she did so.

She’d woo Natasha later with the edited lyrics. She was sure that Nat would get a kick out of it.


	2. Blown kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diner in the middle of the night off the highway AU
> 
> (With Guest Appearances by Charles Xavier, James McAvoy version and Erik Lehnsherr, Michael Fassbender version)
> 
> ((No, I am not adding them to the Tags OR the Fandom thing since they are mentioned in passing.))

Darcy smiled as she made her way over to the half-booth half-table in the back where the very handsome men sat. One was tall with short hair dressed in a turtleneck and  _very_ nice jeans that hugged him  _just so_  (which Darcy probably appreciated a bit too much) and sturdy boots, and the other was in a wheelchair with longer hair and dressed in a shirt that should be burned (it was some maroon plaid monstrosity that she didn't even think _existed_ before this moment) with jeans and sneakers.

She thought it unfair that the man with the long hair  _still_ looked sexy wearing a shirt that should be burned. Really.

Just...not fair.

She turned the corner and her smile turned fond upon seeing that the man with long hair had been moved to sit on the bench next to the one with short hair, held close and obviously asleep on the tall man's shoulder. She walked forward quietly, easily slipping around the wheelchair and placing the bill on the table. "Whenever you are ready," she whispered with a wink.

"Thank you," the tall man answered softly, his accented voice almost German (or Polish; it could have been Polish) and Darcy gave a nod before she walked off, heading back to the main room where the rest of her customers.

She had only "opened" the "back room" because of the wheelchair as none of the front room booths were wheelchair accessible, which she thought was stupid, and the only other option was counter space (which was...no). But, she wasn't the one who built the restaurant (back in the days when the ADA didn't exist), nor the one who had sponsored the remodeling so they could follow ADA standards. Personally, she just thought they should have changed parts of the front room the the half-booth, half-chair set up that was the majority of the "back", but no.

No, things could  _never_ be that easy.

She glanced up when she heard the bell ring and grinned, balancing the tray full of drinks so she could blow a kiss to the woman with red hair that fell past her shoulders in riotous mess of curls. "Be with you in a minute Nat!" Darcy called as she sauntered past, giving her hips an extra sway as she breezed past her girlfriend.

"Take your time  _kitten_ ," the woman purred out, her Russian accent back in full force  _especially_ when Darcy's favorite nickname was dropped off her girlfriend's  _wicked_ tongue to drop like that into Darcy's ears.

Darcy gave a shudder and continued on her way, practically skipping as she handed out the drinks to Thor, Jane, Bruce, and Tony. God of Thunder (which she knew to be true because he wielded Mew-mew, which was awesome), best friend, scientist on the lam, and insane engineer who talked to an AI that lived in his house (and also on the lam in that he was running away from him boss, Pepper).

(She doesn't think he's going to be on the lam for too much longer though, as she's pretty sure Pepper is closing in on him. She hopes Jane records it on her phone to share with Darcy later.)

"Okay, all your drinks are there. What do you want for food since you need, you know, sustenance? Sustenance that is _not_  Pop Tarts!" Darcy stated and pointed at Thor who had opened his mouth.

The kicked puppy dog face was cute, but ineffective. "Food is for the weak," Tony stated and Darcy gave him a look.

"So is caffeine, and yet I was kind and still gave you caffeinated coffee. Don't make me regret that," Darcy answered.

Thor laughed, loud enough that Darcy worried that the long-haired guy in the back would wake up, and slapped the table. "She has zinged you, Tony," he boomed and Jane grinned as she pat Thor's muscular chest.

"Eggs. The egg thing. Give everyone eggs," Tony grumbled and Darcy rolled her eyes, but knew what to order when Tony said 'egg thing.'

"Bruce?" she inquired and Bruce smiled at her.

"Eggs," he agreed and she nodded before she walked off.

She quickly checked up on the runaway teen (who was having water and soup), the parents with the sleeping toddlers (toddlers still sleeping, parents looking ready to fall asleep next to them; thankfully there was a hotel next door and Darcy may have placed their business card with the bill in hopes they'd go there instead of driving), and then bustled up to the counter where Natasha waited.

"Hey Nat!" Darcy greeted as the cook made the huge Deluxe Sausage, Egg, and Bacon Sandwiches.

"Hey," Natasha answered with a warm smile as she blew a kiss at Darcy.

Darcy beamed and bounced a little, her face warming pleasantly with a blush.

Nat was the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Marvel Earth not this Earth.
> 
> More fun that way.


	3. A kiss in the rain

Darcy stared forlornly out of the window of the coffee shop, clutching her own thermos of precious coffee as well as Phil's tightly, as the rainstorm hammered at said window.

This was the closest vetted place to S.H.I.E.L.D., a small coffee shop that had the greatest coffee to ever grace Darcy's tongue. It was, in fact, so fantastically good and heaven-sent that  _Tony_ actually  _walked_ here to get it. Okay, occasionally he flew the Suit here, but still. He came  _personally_ he didn't just send a minion (or Darcy, but she was _Phil's_  Minion, she had the badge and everything, not Tony's so the distinction was important).

When she had left the office, however, it had been sunny. In fact, it had been super-sunny without a cloud in the sky. Bright blue skies and chirping birds and everything!

Okay, no chirping birds, but the point remained.

Which meant...

"Thor," Darcy grumbled as her eyes narrowed.

 _Someone_ had made Thor upset. Considering how the thunder was growing in strength (it was now causing the window to rattle) and the lightening flickered and the rain came down  _harder_ , someone was making him mad.

And there were few things that made him mad.

Insulting one of the Team (he usually let most of them handle it), someone insulting Jane (that...that never went over well...ever), or someone insulting Darcy (which, also, never went over well, though that was usually because Darcy tasered them before Thor got to them and she had to fill out that paperwork...again).

Or bringing up Loki, though nine times out of ten that made Thor  _sad_ not pissed, so...probably Jane or Darcy.

Fuuuuuuck.

Darcy whined and pulled out one of those spare plastic shopping bags she carried with her all the time, using a double layer to keep water damage at a minimal before she took off out the door.

She was soaked in a second, but she just threw up her arm and tried to squint through her rain splattered glasses as she ran toward the S.H.I.E.L.D. building. She did her best to dodge shapes, but she should have known she would fail eventually and one misstep later, she was slipping on the wet sidewalk and crashing into a woman dressed in black.

She only knew it was a woman because well...it was practically a full-body tackle and the boobs she felt were most definitely  _not_ hers, so woman. The plastic bag hit the ground with the lady's umbrella as they both hit the sidewalk, and Darcy groaned. "I'm  _so_ sorry miss! I just...sorry!" Darcy babbled as she tried to find the plastic bag and started when she felt hands on her face.

" _Kitten_ , it is no trouble," Natasha's soothing voice stated, barely heard over the rumble of thunder.

"Nat!" Darcy squealed and tackled Natasha again excitedly, laughing as she kissed her girlfriend messily right there on the sidewalk (though off to the side) in the rain, getting soaked.

Natasha laughed into the kiss as well, gently guiding the kiss into being less messy and more...arousing. They parted, Darcy panting softly and Natasha chuckled. "I was coming to get you  _kitten_. Come, lets pick the coffees in their thermoses up, be thankful that they are issue, and walk back. I am sure a warm shower will do us both good," Natasha stated and Darcy practically bounced up at the statement.

"Oh, ma'am yes  _ma'am_ ," Darcy flirted as she grabbed the umbrella, Natasha grabbing the plastic bag.

Now under the umbrella, Natasha carefully wiped Darcy's wet glasses off and took the umbrella, wrapping an arm around Darcy's waist once finished. Darcy immediately pressed into her partner's embrace and they walked down the sidewalk. "Team, Jane, Loki, or me?" Darcy asked.

"Jane," Natasha stated.

Darcy cackled and Natasha smiled, tightening her grip on Darcy.

No need to tell Darcy that she and Thor had an agreement.

Thor got the Jane-naysayers, but Natsha got  _Darcy's_.


	4. A furious kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My Canon-Mixed-With-Random-Stuff Mish-mash AU

"You don't get to dictate who and who I  _don't_ get to talk to, super-secret assassin-spy or  _not_!" Darcy shouted as she stormed into their shared apartment, their silent Siamese taking off the moment Natasha shut the door with a decisive click.

"I do when the person you are talking with is a suspected spy for _Hydra_!" Natasha snapped and Darcy turned on her.

"No, not even then!" Darcy snarled, rage boiling through her veins.

She was sure that, if she had access to magic, or telekinesis or  _something_ their apartment would be a disaster zone. In the meantime, she was sure their relationship would be one come morning. "Yes, then. He could have  _hurt you_!" Natasha snapped.

"Well  _now_ he could have! Before he had  _no clue_ we were together! He was  _flirting_ Natasha and  _I was letting him_ so I could  _get intel from him_!" she shouted, suddenly thankful that Natasha had insisted on the entire apartment being soundproofed.

She had meant that if they needed to kill intruders (or Clint) no one would know via sound, but now it was serving the purpose of keeping their neighbors from hearing their screaming match. "That is not your job, that is  _mine_!" Natasha snapped and Darcy snarled.

"He  _knows you_!  _I_ am just the useless little office girl Phil keeps around as a pet and/or mascot!" Darcy argued stepping into Natasha's space.

"So, I did my  _job_! Which, by the way, as Fury stipulated in my contract, was to do what I could to keep Phil from being stabbed in the back again, which _I will fucking do_ , not because of a job, but because  _he's the best goddamn thing to happen_   ** _ever_** to you! And Clint! And Tony and Steve and Bruce and  _every person in the history of ever_!" Darcy continued, poking Natasha's shoulder as she did so.

Natasha glared and suddenly Darcy was being yanked into a kiss. She met it, of course, even though it was biting and angry, and Darcy thought she tasted blood and they parted with a soft pant. "You are the most important person to ever enter my life! You! You  _ever_ do this again, I will fucking imprison you in the bedroom," Natasha answered, her lip bleeding.

"My body, my rules, and you won't," Darcy answered softly, gently rubbing her thumb along the split lip, which had Natasha twitch.

"Okay, pause on the fight. Let's just...go to bed and fight it out when we are both...human," Darcy stated and Natasha inhaled slowly before she nodded with a slow exhale.

"Very well," Natasha whispered and Darcy nodded before she grabbed Natasha's hand and dragged her to their room.


	5. Playing truth or dare/spin the bottle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIGH SCHOOL AU

Jane giggled as Thor picked her up and spun her around. "Jane!" he shouted and Jane laughed as the star quarterback continued to spin her around.

There had been some...rumors surrounding Thor's off-campus activities (drugs), but it later turned out that it was Loki actually trying to protect Thor from the Frost Giants, who had plans to break bones. The fact Loki had gotten expelled from their high school and "exiled" to a strict private academy (originally he had been sent to military school, but he was also expelled from there and was shuffled to the private school  _quietly_ ) did not diminish the love Thor held for his brother, nor stop Jane from issuing an invite to him.

Darcy, in all her Junior knowledge, though that this was smart of Jane, considering she hated Loki with a passion, but Thor loved him more than was wise. So, inviting Loki without Thor asking was a good way to get him to be on her side for things. It was underhanded and tricky, and totally worthy of Loki, which is probably why Loki and Jane hated each other, but always pretended not to for Thor's sake.

Cause he was a puppy and no one wanted to kick a puppy.

"So, Loki?" Natasha asked, wrapping one arm around Darcy's waist and she leaned into her girlfriend's side.

"Loki. He's cool though. I mean, he  _did_  help me rearrange the classroom that one time, so he and are are besties, ya know?" Darcy answered and didn't even twitch when she felt a head rest on her shoulder, glancing over with a grin at Loki.

"Knew you loved me," Loki stated.

"Course, brat. Just watch the hands or Natasha will remove 'em, right Nat?" Darcy asked.

"With blunt force trauma," Natasha agreed and Loki laughed, gave Darcy's cheek a kiss and ran off to bug Thor's best friends.

"We can keep him," Natasha stated and Darcy laughed as they walked inside.

*~*~*

Spin-the-bottle had been decided on because everyone agreed to play, omitting Loki who said he’d sit out, which everyone understood.

Loki didn’t like romantic things, or kissing generally, and forcing him to play the game would have been cruel.

As they set up, the only hard and fast rule was that _no one_ went farther than anyone was comfortable with and everyone glared at Fandral during that point, so he knew the rule was for him.

“And if your kiss with Darcy is anything but chaste, I’ll remove your tongue,” Natasha added.

“Hey! I got pepper spray!” Darcy protested, even as Pepper settled onto her left, Tony sitting between them, since the set-up was boy-girl.

Tony looked bored, and Darcy grinned as Loki sat behind her, wrapping his arms loosely around her waist with a hum, curling around so his hip pressed against her right hip, legs curled up to press under her right thigh, as she was sitting crisscross applesauce, knees tucked under her right knee. He settled his head on her shoulder and stated, “Please keep it clean, cause you are comfy,” he stated and Darcy cackled even as she nodded.

“Hear that Nat?” Darcy called and Natasha, who was settled down across from her, and next to Fandral, nodded even as Clint dropped down next to Darcy, followed by Betty Ross, then Bruce.

Sif was next, followed by Hogan, then Jane, and Thor, with Peggy, Steve (so cute, even if he looked like a strong wind would shatter him), then with Bucky tucked up behind Steve like Loki was with her (sly dog, she _knew_ he was dating both Bucky and Peggy!), with Maria, and _then_ Phil, with Natasha closing off the circle.

“We have so many friends,” Darcy whispered and Loki chuckled as he gently nosed Darcy’s neck.

“Nah. Jane and Thor do, but we’re just along for the ride,” Loki responded and Darcy gave a shrug.

“Why can he do that but I can’t?” Clint asked.

“You get handsy. My hands stay where Darcy allows them,” Loki shot back and Clint cackled while Darcy snorted.

She knew their joking relationship would not be understood outside of the little group Darcy and Natasha had collected. Clint was Natasha’s “pet” and Loki was Darcy’s and they never meant that either.

“Who is going to spin Darcy’s bottle?” Tony asked.

“I will,” Natasha answered and Jane nodded.

“Good! Let’s begin!” Jane stated and reached forward, spinning it.

*~*~*

Darcy grinned when Natasha got her with one flick of her wrist, probably putting the spin to make it so it pointed to Darcy. “I’ll keep it clean,” she promised as she sauntered across the circle and pressed a kiss to Darcy’s lips, Loki chuckling as he turned his face away from them as they kissed chastely.

Natasha grinned as she pulled back and sat back down. “I’ll spin for Darcy,” Natasha stated and Darcy was unsurprised to see it hit Natasha.

Loki groaned and shifted to bury his head into the space between Darcy’s shoulder blades as she laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My decision to make Loki a...good guy is purely because in this, one, Loki knows he's adopted.
> 
> Thor is also adopted.
> 
> Their parents never hid this from them, thus Loki has no reason to have a shut down.
> 
> Two, Loki is still not so good at taking into account...after-effects.
> 
> That's about it.
> 
> That and he didn't plant anything, just started rumors which were enough to have Thor benched, temporarily, before they got drug tests in and then Loki was panicking and...yeah.
> 
> But no genocide, so not that severe consequences.


	6. A good morning kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Follows [A Furious Kiss](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1854991/chapters/4043319)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I missed a day but I was basically not at home yesterday so...two for one today!

Natasha sighed as she shifted, her arm tightening briefly around Darcy's waist before she woke, burying her nose into Darcy's hair to inhale ( _reaffirm, reevaluate, she's safe she's safe she's safe she's safe_ ) the shampoo Darcy preferred before she slowly sat up and pressed a kiss to Darcy's cheek. Darcy whined and buried her face into her pillows (pale blue pillowcases in contrast to Natasha's black), even as Natasha continued to press good morning kisses to Darcy's face. She whined and shifted before she reached down and squeezed Natasha's hand. "Breakfast, then human talking," Darcy mumbled and Natasha let out a long sigh that was half laugh.

"Breakfast, than human talking," Natasha responded softly and slowly got out of bed, their Siamese leaping off the foot of the bed and taking off with the movement.

*~*~*

Natasha slid the pancakes onto Darcy's plate (kittens parading around the edge) and covered them in Darcy's preferred toppings (butter, strawberries, and sugar), before she set it on the table in front of Darcy and got her own pancakes, simple in their butter and sugar. "Your cooking of pancakes will not hold sway over my opinion," Darcy stated and Natasha hummed as she rolled the pancakes before she popped them into her mouth.

"How do you make these so thin?" Darcy asked.

"Culinary secret," Natasha responded warmly and Darcy snorted before she continued to dig into her pancakes.

They ate in silence, Natasha's eyes darting around the kitchen (the windows were triple locked, the gun was still taped to the bottom of the table, the knife was hidden in the table leg, as she could feel both when she pressed her leg to their hiding spots, Darcy was looking fetching in her over-sized t-shirt that had probably ridden up enough to tease at revealing her preferred puppy panties to sleep in, though she couldn't see that) and she twitched when Darcy suddenly stood, the t-shirt falling to mid-thigh as she did so.

She picked up Natasha's plate and walked over, putting both into the sink before she began to wash them. "Okay, we left off with me arguing against how you can't control me, even when you think I am being stupid and a danger to myself," she stated and Natasha sighed as she slowly stood up, her black yoga pants clinging to her legs with the tank top that Darcy had picked of a cartoon spider on a red background riding up slightly as Natasha stretched.

"Yes, because it is," Natasha answered as she stepped up to dry, Darcy shaking off a plate before she handed it over.

"But that doesn't mean you get a say in who I am allowed to speak with," Darcy answered as she scrubbed at her cat plate.

"I know," Natasha answered and Darcy sighed.

"Damn straight," Darcy muttered.

"But you should warn me if you are going to do stupid shit like that. Now I have to kill him," Natasha answered and Darcy scoffed, tossing her hair over her shoulder with a decisive flick of her head.

"No killing," Darcy stated even as their Siamese let out 'mreow'.

"Fine. Feed the cat," Natasha answered.

"All right. Calm your tail, Fat Cat, let me get your food," Darcy stated, drying off her hands before she sauntered off to prepare the cat's breakfast.


	7. Goodnight Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mish-Mash-Canonish-AU Thing

"GAH, no, bad! Lucky, down!" Darcy ordered as she, carefully, shoved the boucning Lucky away from her, the big golden dog whining as he flopped onto the ground, staring up at her with big weepy golden eyes.

"Fat Cat gets fed first, isn't that right sweetie?" Darcy stated as she focused on the Siamese who was sitting on the top of the cat tower, staring down at the big golden dog that was lying there on the kitchen floor with narrowed eyes and fluffed up fur.

The big boned Siamese was a traditional and had been "found" by Natasha on one of her missions. Darcy was sure that the cat was brought into the country illegally, but it wasn't like she ever missed an appointment and was always had the cleanest bills of health. Darcy hummed as she scooped the cat's mix of food into her bowl and plopped it on the second tier of the tower, Fat Cat hesitating before she descended from her perch to eat.

"Now you, Lazy Bones," she stated and Lucky perked up excitedly as Darcy crossed to the food container on the counter that Clint had shoved into her arms with Lucky's leash as he begged her to watch Lucky for the weekend.

She had just dropped a scoop of food into the bowl when a knock on the door cut through the air. Lucky was up on his paws with a tremendous bark, charging for the door as he jumped up at it with increasing loud barks, paws never touching the wood. Darcy groaned, wondering how Phil had ever allowed this dog to  _exist_  and turned to him. "Thank you!" Darcy shouted, surprised when Lucky fell silent, his tail thumping against the floor as he continued to stare up at the door.

She placed his bowl on the place mat next to the water bowl, and walked over to the door, sighing when he didn't move from the door. "Lazy Bones, food!" she called, but the dog didn't budge and she groaned when whoever it was knocked again (and Darcy hoped it wasn't a neighbor asking why she had a dog suddenly, though it didn't violate any rules, she had double-checked before bringing him home), though Lucky merely wiggled a bit.

Thank the deities for  _that_  at least and Darcy peeked through the peephole before she squeaked, grabbed Lucky by the collar, surprised to see Lucky shift to get up on his paws, pointing forward as Darcy opened the door to Phil. "I see Clint didn't give you the Handler Manuel," Phil stated and glanced down at the dog.

"You have to tell me to come in and let him go simultaneously. I've trained him to be an attack dog," Phil stated and Darcy groaned, but followed his instructions, Lucky bouncing happily as Phil walked in, wiggling all over in doggy excitement.

Fat Cat let out a grumble and climbed back up to the top of her lofty perch to glare down at them all.

*~*~*

Natasha stepped into the apartment, wondering why Clint had been avoiding her all day, only to pause upon seeing Lucky laying on the ground in front of the sofa, Darcy curled up against the arm, her back to the door, and the cat in the nest her legs made, behind her thighs, purring up a storm. Her eyebrow rose when Lucky crunched down on one of those stick dog treats Phil preferred to give him, and she closed the door behind her.

“Why is Clint’s monster here?” she inquired as she toed off her sneakers and tossed her hoodie onto the chair by the front door.

She scrubbed her fingers through her newly cut and curled hair as Darcy looked up, Lucky cheerfully ignoring Natasha in favor of his treat. “Clint dumped him on me. Turns out it is because no one wants an attack dog in their home. Manuel is on the table,” Darcy answered and Natasha nodded slowly.

Clint was going to die.

Slowly and painfully.

She would have to run from Phil after, but it would be worth it because Clint but Darcy in danger. Quid pro quo.

She picked up the manual and settled on the couch at Darcy’s feet, rubbing her ankle as Darcy focused back down on her book, flexing her barefoot slightly. She flicked it open and raised an eyebrow.

“Phil brought this to you, I take it?” Natasha inquired.

“Mmm-hmm. He was _not_ happy with Clint just shoving the dog at me. He says one of the reasons might be because I was introduced as a friend pretty early in Lucky’s training, so Lucky automatically assumes I am someone to be trusted. Since you are not insane, like Clint, I knew you’d come through the front door, since you always warn me if you are going to come through a window beforehand so I don’t tase you, which Phil also gave me a new one, so that’s nice, and _oooooh_ , you naughty girl Sarah, which is like his. And he already filled out the permit for me, isn’t that sweet of him? I think he’s warming up to me,” Darcy stated.

“He let Clint’s Monster continue thinking of you as an ally. I think this is his official, “I’m adopting you as my child, you’ll never be rid of me,” rite of passage,” Natasha answered lightly as she reviewed the section for Secondary Handler.

Darcy was so very obviously the primary as it had side notes aimed _at_ Darcy. Things like, “You must swear on your iPod you will _not_ give the dog rawhide bones. I know it is tempting, but he eats them and I don’t desire having to explain that to the vet _again_. Stop giving them to him.”

Natasha had long grown used to the fact that while Phil did, in fact, trust her, trusted her with his life even, he did not trust her completely.

He did not trust her with his soul.

It was the same with her of course.

Natasha didn’t fully trust Darcy with him either.

Even if he did seem dead set on adopting her.

*~*~*

“The dog is not getting into bed with us,” Natasha stated.

“Aww, babe!” Darcy pouted, dressed in the too big t-shirt, the cat in her arms.

“That’s the cat’s spot!” Natasha argued softly, ignoring the way the dog stared sorrowfully up at her.

“I put the bad blankets on and everything,” Darcy wheedled and Natasha huffed softly.

“If they get into a spat, you get to break it up,” Natasha warned and Darcy made a happy sound before she pressed a kiss to Natasha’s cheek.

“Thank you!” she squealed and Natasha sighed and tried to look upset, though she knew she was failing.

Truly, the only reason she was saying a thing about the dog was because the cat already slept on the bed. However, once settled, the dog settled at the foot of the bed, pressed up against the footboard (which Darcy had covered in the blanket that neither of them liked, but kept anyway because free stuff was free stuff, even when it came from someone they severely disliked), and the cat was settling into her usual spot as if the dog wasn’t there. When he pushed forward, however, she bat his nose with claws sheathed and he pulled back with a whine, but didn’t try to sniff her again.

“See? They’re fine,” Darcy promised and leaned over, wrapping her arms around Natasha before she pressed a kiss to her lips.

Natasha reacted without thought, burying her fingers into Darcy’s hair before she kissed back, the pair parting slowly to press their foreheads together. “Night Natasha,” Darcy whispered.

“Night Darcy,” Natasha answered as they pulled back enough for Darcy to flop onto the bed, Natasha turning over to wrap Darcy up in her arms, pulling her close as the animals shuffled at the end of their bed.

Pressing her lips to Darcy’s forehead and feeling Darcy breathe against her neck, Natasha closed her eyes and fell into an untroubled sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fat Cat is not really the cat's name, but Darcy calls her that because Natasha left Darcy alone with the cat for one minute. And they bonded.
> 
> The cat's _real_ name is Tsaritsa, but neither use it as she seems to react to "Fat Cat", "Sweetie," "Princess" and basically anything else Darcy calls her.
> 
> Natasha generally calls the cat...cat. The cat tolerates Natasha in much the same way Natasha tolerates the cat.
> 
> The reason Natasha brought the cat with her?
> 
> The microchip that was removed held valuable data and after, they were going to put the cat in the shelter. Natasha was charged with that, actually, and left the cat with Darcy for a minute, came back and Darcy basically went, "I'm keeping her," and Natasha folded like wet tissue paper in the rain.
> 
> And Natasha filled out the paperwork for a pet.
> 
> Yes, SHIELD as paperwork for pets.


	8. A secret kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crime Family AU
> 
> (I have no clue, but I want to do this, even though I have no fucking clue how a crime family works)
> 
> Darcy is the "kept girl" of the head of a crime family (an OC named Bernard because I honestly couldn't see who, canonically, Darcy would be a "kept girl" for). Natasha is his best assassin.
> 
> The Head of the Crime Family has no clue his "kept girl" is carrying on a successful affair with said best assassin.
> 
> (Clint knows and finds it hilarious, while the accountant, Phil, just agrees to cover whatever expenses Darcy hands him, even when it includes certain things that she shouldn't need, like knives and poisons. Nat and Darcy may or may not be planning a hostile takeover.)
> 
> (Hint; they are.)
> 
> [Death and violence. And pregnancy.]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headaches kept me abed for _days_.
> 
> Let's not discuss it, please? I'll play catch up for a while.

Darcy hummed happily as she sucked the last of her lollipop off the stick as she watched Tony Stark talk on the television. "Damn him!" Bernard snarled and Darcy resisted the urge to roll her eyes at him before she turned, still sucking on the stick, even though the flavor hard stuff was all gone, her eyes flicking over to Natasha, who stood at "her" man's right side.

He was so very obviously not paying attention to Darcy and she resisted the urge to just flop back and pretend he wasn't there after all. She pulled the spoon out before she answered, "Darling, he's already damned. You have that Stane fellow in your back pocket. He likes the money too much to go against what you want."

Personally, she hoped Natasha would insure that  _Obie_ (as he insisted he be called whenever he came over and Darcy played giggly schoolgirl and sat on Bernard's lap) met with an  _accident_ , but in the meantime, she would nod solemnly as Bernard whined about Tony Stark having a brain and functioning brain cells and  _not_ bowing to Bernard's whims.

Not even Darcy did, but that's because he liked her feisty and thought it was cute. And she only got away with it because of Tony, so she might have to send the man a fruit basket.

Or Obadiah Stane's head. Either or, really.

Darcy hummed a bit and slowly stood up before she walked over to Bernard and pressed a kiss to his cheek (the man merely nodded distractedly and pat her shoulder, as he was talking business on the phone) before she sauntered off, reaching out with her fingers to brush them along Natasha's before she walked out of the room, slipping into the nearest bathroom once she did.

She waited, silently, before Natasha sauntered out and when she passed the bathroom door, Darcy didn't hesitate to grab her and pull her into the bathroom, pressing her against the door as she leaned in and pressed a kiss to Natasha's cursing mouth. The red-head only hesitated briefly before she breathed out, "Darcy," against her lips and kissed back.

Natasha clung to Darcy's hips and yanked her closer, the teddy she wore tonight riding up slightly as Natasha carefully pulled her closer and kissed her harder and Darcy buried her fingers in Natasha's pixie cut hair. "You know, we may need to step up our plans a bit," Darcy breathed against Natasha's lips and Natasha started slightly.

"Do you mean?" Natasha questioned, a hand pressing to Darcy's abdomen.

"Mmm-hmmm. All things failed and I rather like the idea of having a little one we raise to not be an idiot," Darcy murmured and Natasha smirked before she pressed another kiss to Darcy's lips.

"We've got to go now. He'll be expecting you in his bed," Natasha stated, growling lowly as she gripped Darcy's hip almost a bit too harshly.

"Mmm, yes yes. And you'll have me this weekend, when he goes off for a thing," Darcy answered with a happy hum.

"Night," Darcy whispered and she slipped out, still hearing Bernard shout at whoever he was speaking with as she slid down to the bedroom, glancing behind her to watch Natasha slip out.

*~*~*

Months later, when Natasha held a knife to Bernard's throat and Darcy sat on his throne, still heavily rounded with their child, having won his network over with her sweet smiles and gentle touch, long before she had stolen it from under his nose while she slept with him, he had wondered how it had come to pass when he had been so sure he was careful, Darcy had hummed and shifted slightly.

"You weren't, though. So used to getting your way, you've pissed off more than one person you shouldn't have, Bernard. I had cared for you once, but when I learned leaving you meant death? That I wasn't too keen on. But, at least you respected everything else about me," she stated as she leaned back on his throne and watched as Natasha slit his throat from ear to ear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, Darcy is pregnant. Yes, it is Bernard's, because Darcy only two-times him (she rather liked him, at first, and doesn't leave mostly because, one, he respects her boundaries, and two, she likes the fact she's gonna take everything from him right from under his nose, and three, she didn't want to be yet another in a string of _missing_ women who got involved with him).


	9. Goodbye kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not Pet AU, but a Mish-Mash AU
> 
> ....
> 
> This is heartbreak.

"Its an internship for those six college credits in New Mexico, not a permanent change of residence. Besides, don't you have that new job at Stark Industries? You wouldn't be able to see me while you settled anyway, Nat," Darcy answered, smiling as she looked up at Natalie, whose green eyes tracked her every movement.

"I don't like it," she responded simply and Darcy chuckled before she walked over and hugged Natalie tight.

"Nat," Darcy pouted and nuzzled behind her ear, earning a shaky sigh as Natalie wrapped her arms around Darcy.

"It'll only be for a few months," Darcy murmured softly, pressing a kiss to Natalie's jawbone and Natalie sighed as she pulled her close.

"Why couldn't you just stay at Culver University?" Natalie asked softly.

"Why can't you stay at this branch of legal for Stark Industries? Why do you have to go to the big bad branch in Malibu?" Darcy answered and Natalie sighed as she shifted and pressed her forehead against Darcy's neck.

"Because of work," Natalie admitted softly and Darcy smiled, burying her fingers in Natalie's hair as she ran her fingers, carefully, through the thick curls.

"Yeah, because of work. And I want to be a lab assistant one day and Jane's the best, in all honesty. I've always wanted to study the stars," she answered and Natalie sighed sharply.

She then pressed a kiss to Darcy's neck and pulled back, staring deeply into Darcy's eyes. "Okay. Be safe?" Natalie asked.

"I won't be dying for six college credits Nat, I promise," Darcy answered and pressed a kiss to Natalie's cheek.

*~*~*

"Got your Taser?" Natalie asked.

"Yep," Darcy answered as she made sure everything was carefully packed within her carry-on or in her purse.

So awesome, being able to carry the purse on.

"Got your iPod charger cable?"

"Yep."

"Laptop charger?"

"Yep."

"Laptop?"

"Yes Nat."

"Spare chargers for both laptop and iPod?" Natalie questioned.

"Yes," Darcy let out in an exasperated huff, glaring up at Natalie.

They wouldn't be able to see each other off at the airport and the fact Natalie was  _dictating_ her luggage was a little annoying.

"Your iPod?" Natalie pressed.

"Nat, that thing is my  _lifeblood_ and you thought I would forget it?" Darcy asked as she pulled it out of her purse.

Natalie pursed her lips and sighed softly before she settled back on her heels. "Yes?" Darcy asked and let out a startled sound when Natalie stepped into her space and pressed a kiss to her lips.

Darcy wrapped her arms around Natalie's shoulders and kissed back, whimpering into the kiss, lips parting as Natalie kissed her like it was for the last time. "Nat, don't worry so much. We'll see each other again," Darcy murmured as she pressed a chaste kiss to Natalie's lips once they parted and then pulled away, gathering up her carry-on luggage as she walked away from the apartment, turning to smile and blow a kiss before she stepped onto the elevator, Natalie's green eyes never leaving her till the elevator doors closed, cutting them off from sight.

*~*~*

"Was it a lie?" Darcy asked and Natalie ( _Natasha_ ) shook her head, straight red hair brushing along her chin.

"Never," Nat answered and then sighed and shook her head.

"No, that's a lie. At first...yes, it was. You worked with Dr. Ross, you had access to the old Banner Research and you often brought it home. I could read through it, took pictures...read the notes Dr. Ross had you working on," Nat continued and Darcy swallowed, feeling tears well up in her eyes.

She wrapped her arms firmly around her waist, trembling slightly as she did so. She had taken the paying job for no credit because she had been trusted by Dr. Ross. She and Betty had been, and still were, friends. She had known Bruce, a bit, having been taking college courses in high school, but he had...left before she was enrolled in one of his classes, even though her interest in science was more along the lines of helping to make great discoveries over making them herself.

"I had meant to leave...but I really liked who Natalie Rushman was, especially around you," Nat answered and Darcy just nodded a bit before she slowly stood up.

She walked over to Nat and leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth. "Good bye Natalie," Darcy whispered softly and turned and walked away.

She didn't look back, even with the heavy weight of Natasha's eyes on her back.


	10. CPR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well...this is a sequel to the last one (goodbye kiss)
> 
> Shhhh.
> 
> Anyway, this has near drowning.
> 
> Sorry about not posting on time just...things.

"Darcy!" Natasha shouted as the villain (some idiot, some moron, who had only been winning because he had Darcy's unconscious form with him) dropped her into the river and she moved.

She stripped her heavy weights as she went and dove into the water, knowing that Clint would watch her back, mark where her things fell, help her collect them. It didn't matter right now though, as her body finally register the cold. Each kick, each pull, sent her further into the water, even as she followed the weak stream of bubbles, grabbing onto Darcy, wrapping the dark haired woman's arms around her shoulders shifting to pull them upward when Tony ( _Iron Man_ ) was there and he had them in his grip before he propelled them upward.

He put them down on the pier as Natasha turned Dary over, shoving black curls away from her mouth as she called Darcy's name, only to receive no response. She immediately began chest compressions, leaning over once she began, her heart racing as she felt no breath, felt no rise and fall under her hands. She prepared Darcy ( _head tilt, chin lift_ ) for rescue breaths, and began. She was careful, measured, feeling herself reach that plateau of complete calm ( _Please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, don't die, don't die before I have a chance to explain, please please please_ ) as she gives rescue breaths followed by compressions, always making sure her chest rises when Natasha breathes for her.

It takes four times, four rotations, before Darcy gasps and curls over, coughing and heaving. There is the scent of water mixed with bile and vomit, but Natasha doesn't care, just curls over Darcy, not touching, listening to Darcy slowly begin breathing normally as Natasha's vision blurs.

She starts when freezing cold hands touch her cheeks and her eyes dart up to Darcy's face, or she assumes it is so, but her vision is blurry, probably from the river, and she slumps into Darcy carefully urging her there, and she's breathing, each soft rise and fall, rise and fall, as Natasha holds into her, pressing her forehead against Darcy's cheek and they stay like that, shivering, until Phil collects them.


	11. A wet kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Swimmer AU
> 
> Natasha is a swimmer training for the Olympics.
> 
> Darcy is a member of the synchronized swimming team.
> 
> Everyone is shocked to learn they are dating

Natasha ignored the people around her as she carefully pushed her hair up under her swimming cap, listening as Swan Lake, which was playing over the speakers, matched Bucky's grumbling at her right shoulder. "Aren't they supposed to be out already?" the one-armed man snapped and Natasha shrugged, even as she watched Clint do something stupid, both himself and his partner crashing into the water because of said stupidity.

" _Barton_!" the trainer, Sif, shouted as Bucky snorted and a woman with an electric yellow swimming cap, near the lithe man with the ice blue swimming cap, cackled before falling under the water, surfacing quickly with hacks that could bring up lungs.

"Barton, if I were allowed, I would chain you to the bottom of the pool! While it was full!" the trainer snarled and Clint merely cackled before he swung around to curl around the woman with the electric yellow swimming cap while Natasha slowly stood, settling her swim goggles on her forehead.

"This wouldn't happen if you paired me and Darce," Clint answered and there was foul language being spewed from the trainer's mouth before she seemed to realize that their time was, at minimum, up, though in reality beyond it.

"No, because you two are chaos incarnate if I put you two together! Worse than Loki and Darcy, who were actually  _doing their jobs_  while you goofed off! Hit the showers, the lot of you!" Sif snarled and stormed away, Clint still cackling even as he swam over and hauled himself out.

Natasha, however, had now qualms about using her foot to shove him back into the water, much the amusement of the synchronized swimming team.

Clint surfaced with a huff. "Aww, Nat, that wasn't necessary," he pouted as he hauled himself out and Natasha resisted the urge to shove him back in with her foot.

She did want the pool cleared so they could put the lanes out. "Oh, it was," Natasha stated, even as a wet finger tapped her shoulder.

She turned to stare at who was touching her before smiling slightly at Darcy, who was still soaking wet. "Sorry we took so long. Good luck on your time!" Darcy chirped before she leaned forward and kissed Natasha wetly on the cheek.

Natasha snorted and twisted, catching Darcy's wrists to encourage her to wrap them around her shoulders before she leaned in, kissing Darcy full on the mouth. There was a booming laugh from Thor, a slightly scandalized,  _"Darcy!"_  from Jane, and Bucky cackling, the chlorine tasting kiss settling something deep within Natasha's heart. When they parted from their soaking wet kiss, Darcy giggled and rubbed her nose against Natasha's.

"Break them, baby!" Darcy stated and carefully released Natasha in time to her releasing her and Natasha smiled.

"Oh, I will," Natasha promised as she walked to her lane, her own trainer, Hogun, waiting patiently for her, the lanes nearly set.

It was time to train for the Olympics after all.


	12. Kiss on the cheek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pet AU
> 
> Takes place in the Far Future (sorta) of the Pet AU

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all so lucky this isn't like two sentences long.

"The baby wants ice cream."

Natasha looked up at that and glanced over at Darcy, who was pouting while running her hand over the Bump, comfortable in her nest made of blankets, pillows, and recliner. "Darcy, you can't have ice cream," Natasha stated and Darcy whined a little, the pout only increasing, bottom lip trembling slightly.

"Not even if it is vanilla with caramel sauce, and strawberries?" she continued and Natasha sighed as she stood up, leaning over to press a kiss to Darcy's cheek.

"Not even then. You can have the strawberries however," Natasha answered softly, pressing a hand to the Bump and being rewarded with some  _impressive_ kicks.

"No. We want ice cream," Darcy pouted and Natasha chuckled as she nuzzled along Darcy's cheek bone and pressed another kiss to her cheek.

"No," Natasha responded softly and Darcy whined before she wrapped her arms around Natasha's shoulders, pulling her down slightly so Natasha had to quickly shift so she was supporting her weight on the arms of the chair and not the Bump.

Darcy peppered kisses along Natasha's kiss and whined a bit before she slowly looked up at Natasha with a pronounced pout, her face an acne, oily, mess because of pregnancy, and fluttering eyelashes. "Please?" she asked again.

Natasha took a deep breath and closed her eyes, trying to keep in mind the diet plan Darcy had to follow for maximum health (Tony was shockingly good at it, considering that he refused to be healthy himself), and Steve's disappointed face. Steve's disappointed face was good, along with Sam's.

Oh yeah, Sam's face, aimed at Darcy and slowly crumbling, oh yes.

"No," Natasha stated and pressed a kiss to Darcy's forehead at that, even though Darcy was now sulking.

An alarm blared at that and she sighed, pressing another kiss to Darcy's cheek before she stood up and ran out, already shifting into fighting mode.

*~*~*

Darcy trying to look innocent while she had a spoon in her mouth and a bowl filled with vanilla ice cream, peaches, and what looked like honey should not have been as amusing as it was. "Please tell me that is pasteurized," she stated and Darcy made muffled sounds around the spoon.

"Of  _course_ it is pasteurized Nat! I don't want to die!" Clint stated as he hopped onto the couch, sitting on the back with his own similar concoction of vanilla, peaches, and honey.

Natasha glared at him, even as Bucky walked over to sit on the arm of Darcy's recliner and his metal hand resting on the Bump while he leaned down slightly, before she looked over at Darcy, who quickly shoveled another spoonful of vanilla, peaches, and honey. "I said you couldn't have that. It goes against your diet. And you  _know_ the doctor said you were supposed to cut back on sugar! Not to mention cholesterol!" Natasha stated.

"That's the sugar-free ice, low cholesterol vanilla ice cream Steve uses in his milkshakes," Bucky stated, having been fed some by Darcy.

Natasha raised an eyebrow and Darcy quickly shoveled another bite into her mouth. She sighed and shoved Clint off the back of the couch (or tried; she didn't actually succeed, though Clint cackled) before sitting between his legs. "Fine. But that means no dessert later," she stated, even as the cat came out of wherever she was hiding to leap up into the nest Darcy had made, purring up a storm as she curled up against the Bump.

Bucky, however, was carefully shifting his hand with a small frown. "Bump moves a lot," he stated and Darcy nodded.

"Probably gonna be like his Mama and always moving," Darcy reported cheerfully and Natasha smiled, even as Clint cackled.

"So not a sniper or Nat then," Clint teased and this time, when Natasha tipped him off the back of the couch, she succeeded.

"Don't break the archer," Phil called, even as Clint laughed on the floor, the bowl, spoon, and ice-cream/fruit/honey concoction miraculously saved.


	13. A kiss in the sunset

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> College AU
> 
> (No secret spy S.H.I.E.L.D., Natasha had a normal childhood, and was in ballet for forever, and is a Dance major, Darcy is a poli-sci major still, Clint is a Physics professor, because the actor is in like his 40s, and Phil teaches Children's Literature, because he can. Jane is teaches astrophysics, Bruce is teaching what he was teaching at Culver University before going Hulk, Tony teaches robotics, while taking classes in whatever, Fury is the Dean, Maria Hill is Assistant Dean, Steve is tiny!Steve and teaches art classes, Bucky has a prosthetic arm and teaches History, with a focus on World War II, Sam is one of the school's therapists, with an emphasis in veterans, but anyone can get an appointment with him, and Rhodey is an Air Force Recruiter on Campus.)

"I don't know whether to be impressed or fail you," Dr. Barton (he preferred to be called Clint, insisting that 'Dr. Barton' made him feel old) and Darcy and Natasha both grinned at him from where they were standing next to their roller coaster, which had somehow partially exploded on the sidewalk.

"Impressed," Darcy stated.

"Most definitely impressed," Natasha answered, her entire body shifted to accommodate her altered muscle and bone structure from years of ballet, and Darcy grinned, leaning her head back to rest against Natasha's shoulder.

"All right, worthy of a B. Construction great, working not so much, but explosion? That's worth the B, especially as you didn't damage the sidewalk or anything around it. Congrats on your B, get out of here, I'll strip this for spare parts for Tony to use," Dr. Barton stated and Darcy cackled as she walked off, Natasha gliding after her, reaching out to take hold of Darcy's hand, fingers weaving together, when she caught up.

Darcy grinned over her shoulder at Natasha, who smiled back. "Studio or here?" Darcy asked as she looked forward to watch where they were going as they continued to walk across the courtyard, past the fountain with the school's mascot in the center, and Natasha hummed softly.

"Studio," Natasha answered and Darcy let out a low whistle, swinging their hands a bit as they walked along.

"What time?" Darcy asked.

"About three. Really want to watch the entire time?" Natasha asked and Darcy nodded, even as they altered their path to head for the parking lot.

"Yeah. It is...relaxing," Darcy answered cheerfully and Natasha nodded simply as they made their way to their car.

*~*~*

Natasha smiled as Darcy clapped from her seat in front of the large window, socked feet tucked up under, the sunset making her hair gleam. Natasha drifted over to her as the other ballerinas smiling indulgently at Darcy's excitement, and Natasha leaned down, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips. Darcy smiled into the kiss as she kissed back, trying to make it not so chaste when the ballet matron cleared her throat pointedly and they parted, Darcy giving her apologies as Natasha went back to position.

The sun was gone when Darcy and Natasha left the studio, but that didn't stop them from laughing into shared kisses as they made their way to their car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.
> 
> I got distracted.
> 
> Let's just say this is a 20 chapter fic that'll take forever and a day to finish.
> 
> Sorry.
> 
> Again.

**Author's Note:**

> 20 Day OTP Kiss Challenge
> 
> http://iriarty.tumblr.com/post/43578137224/20-day-otp-kiss-challenge


End file.
